Denver to Elko

On Thursday morning, Charles and Lee Lee took me to see the Tiny Farm -- a little oasis conceived and created by Lee Lee with lots of help from donors and volunteers and Charles. It is on the grounds of a prep school, Kent Denver, and the whole idea was to make a space for all sorts of learning. All three of their kids went to that school, and Lee Lee taught drama there for many years. Now she administers a huge camp program during the summer and part of the curriculum is in this space: gardening, animals, environmental issues, art, writing.  It has lots of distinct areas for groups of students to focus on the topic at hand. In the winter, everything is covered with snow and very quiet but it is easy to imagine the dozens of little feet tramping over the paths on the way to the chickens or the goats or the ponies or the flower garden. It was windy and cold, so we didn't spend too much time there.

 They dropped me off at Dena's house and I ended up spending the entire afternoon lying on the couch, reading and napping. A day off from my traveling job.  Meanwhile, Jon and Dena did a bunch of house projects. Dena said she just wanted advice so she could make some repairs but mostly they just did them.

Then back to Charles' house with some yummy barbecue and we got to see Ella and Tillie and Tillie's boyfriend briefly. That was a treat. 

 The next day we woke up early and hit the road, knowing that we had an 11 hour drive ahead of us. We thought the weather looked promising and we decided to take I-80 because it only went up to about 8000 feet instead of 10,000 something. Plus that's how Google said to go.

Everything went swimmingly for about four hours. There were rock formations and mountains and places that reminded Jon of old Westerns. It is always good to see the vast and awe-some terrain out here. It was 7 degrees when we left Denver and got up to about 12 degrees, with winds of 40 - 60 mph. We stopped at the West End Cafe which was only open as a drive-through and we got excellent sandwiches and a mango smoothie. Then, since there was nothing much else to do, I took a nap.

 

I woke up when Jon was braking hard unexpectedly. For some reason everyone was stopped. Then there was a sign that said I-80 was closed and everyone had to exit. We dutifully waited in line until we realized that the entire row of trucks was just parked. So we drove past the long parade of trucks, got off at the exit, asked the lone policeman in his car who was guarding the entrance ramp barricade what the prognosis was. He didn't know, but he expected it to be closed all night and even longer. There were some cars, like we had been, interspersed in the line, but they didn't realize that if they didn't get out, they were going to be there until the next morning. It was very windy and snow was starting to blow sideways. Jon asked how we might go around this part of the interstate and he said we could go back to Route 30 and make a big loop on little roads. At that time we were theoretically about two hours east of Salt Lake City, in normal times.

We backtracked about 40 miles, then headed north on a two lane highway. It got windier and snowier, with times when there was no visibility at all, with occasional moments of better clarity. We had our flashers on as did everyone else.  Three hours later we were no closer in time to Salt Lake City, but we had managed to get back to I-80 just past the closed part. Of course, I was tense the whole time because there is nothing good about driving in high wind with snow blowing everywhere. Jon had to put up with my stress but he wasn't very stressed, as the driver. I hate passing the plows when there is a moment when you really can't see anything at all. If it were me, I would happily go slow enough to follow the plow and who cares if we only go 35 mph. We have our own plow. 

 

We got to our destination, Elko, Nevada four hours later than anticipated. That was 15 hours sitting on our butts, with a few stops for fuel and food and bathrooms. That is one of the things that has changed a lot in the last 20 - 50 years -- gas stations have changed over to being rest stops with lots of food. In the old days, you had to wait for one of the highway rest stops. No more. 

Of course since we are still completely fine, Jon gets to be right about how fast he was driving, etc. But no one knows how much help it is to have a worrywart sitting next to you.In good news, there was no yelling.

Boulder/Denver

When we come to Denver, we usually don't see anyone but our family -- Jon's sister and my brother. But this time we made loose plans by text with enough people that we had to keep moving and keep eating all day long. 

First we went to Boulder to meet up with Sam, a beloved farm worker from about five years ago. She left the East Coast to go to a program to learn about herbs and tinctures, and then eventually she figured out that the potential income from that sort of work was just about the same as farming and she liked farming better. So she worked on one farm or another, met someone wonderful, got married, and just happened to meet a woman in a pottery class who knew someone who needed some farm help. Knowing nothing about the farmer or the farm, she decided to apply for a job. One year later she and her husband are the managers of this little farm and the owner is a successful musician who is on tour most of the time, promoting his recent album. He is famous enough that he doesn't want people to know where he lives because he doesn't want random people showing up to try to find him, so they have to be a little bit circumspect about the farm location (no sign, no internet presence, I guess). But he is a great person to work for and Sam is contemplating the possibility that she and her husband will be on this little farm for years to come. Life is so random. We had a great morning with her, looking at the farm and then retreated to a coffee shop for several more hours of catching up.

From there we headed to the foothills of the mountains to the west, going to meet two of my best friends from high school for lunch at the Chautauqua Dining Hall. This location is the last remaining one of its kind west of the Mississippi -- in the early 1900s there were a bunch of these retreat centers  established around the country. The one I have heard of the most is the one that the Clintons go to every year to recharge their intellectual batteries.  Anyway, we had lunch in this lodge. I haven't seen Steve and Jim in the same place since 1976.  We definitely do not look the same as we did 48 years ago, but their voices and personalities are so much the same.  I spent so much of high school in classes and working on the yearbook with these guys. Unlike so many other people I know, each of them got a job after college and stayed with it all the way to retirement. That is so old school. Steve was a civil engineer working for Shell Oil, traveling the world designing off shore rigs and Jim has worked for the US Park Service forever.  The opposite ends of the spectrum but their politics seem to align with each other's, and with mine. I guess I have also had the same job since college, so that makes three of us.

 

Then back to Denver, jumping forward about 25 years, we went to see Stuart and Andrea in their swanky apartment with a great view. They left Northern Virginia a few years ago when they realized they really could work anywhere and the suburbs were not nearly as interesting as living in Denver nearer to more of their kids. It felt like we had seen them last about a month ago. They keep up with NVHC, attending services on YouTube, paying dues, staying in touch. I realized that I have really missed Stuart -- his pragmatism, his clear thinking. He is like me in the area of not taking things personally. We talked at some length about Israel and found that there is a great consistency amongst our Reform Jew friends across the country -- their support for Israel remains solid. It feels like a generational thing. I am much more muddled in my thinking, probably because as a Jew by Choice I have less lifelong clarity about Israel. But I very much hope this war ends soon and Netanyahu's political career ends.

 Jon dropped me off at Charles and Lee Lee's house and he went to Dena's. We had quiet evenings, separately, and spent time with our own siblings.

Kansas Is Not That Flat, Really

If I can wake up earlier than the rest of the house every day and find a comfortable chair, I will be able to keep up with this reporting. So far, each of the houses we have visited has ample options for lounging and I am discovering all sorts of furniture that I would love to have myself. Right now I am in the best chair ever at Charles and Lee Lee's house and when I get to be a grown-up, this is the first thing I want to get. Alissa was in this very chair not so very long ago.

Anyway, when the sun came up in Manhattan, Kansas we could see that the snow predictions had not come true. There was snow, but nothing new in the night. Plenty of blowing and drifting. We had a civilized breakfast with Paul and Dan. The night before, we had dinner with them but because we arrived late, Paul had to get up pretty quickly from the table to be on a long call, so we got to talk to Dan for at least an hour without Paul. That was a good opportunity to find out all about him. I just said, "well, now that Paul is gone, tell us your life story." And he is a good talker with lots of stories so he told us all about his work as a church pianist and organist, his long but unhappy marriage, his amazing kids and grandkids. It was really a great chance to learn about someone who is now in Paul's life. Could not have planned it better.

Jon was anxious to get back on the road and he wasn't interested in spending a snow day hanging out, so away we went at 9:00. It wasn't clear that we would be able to get out of the long, curving, hilly driveway or that any roads would be plowed, but we had to go and see. Miraculously, we had all our gears again. Who knows what that was about. Good thing the road was plowed because we would never have made it back up that driveway.

Because we are still avoiding toll roads, we headed back out toward a smaller road that runs north of and parallel to Route 70.  (If Lilah were reading this, she would be shaking her head.) Route 24 is a two lane highway with good shoulders but no guard rails. I am trying to think of a road like it in our area, but I really can't think of one. Route 9 doesn't have the shoulders and the lanes are a little bit narrower. On a dry, clear day, this road would have been just perfect. As it was, it had a layer of crunchy snow on it for the first couple of hours and then there started to be a little pavement showing as the sun warmed things up a little (24 degrees) and as the day went on, things got better and better. There were almost no other vehicles going in our direction, which was ideal, and there were snow plows coming from the other direction with some frequency. As it happens, we figured out eventually that Route 70 was closed all day for most of Kansas. That was not an option anyway.

It was the quintessential "ribbon of highway." It went up and down the hills, due west, going through small towns. Vast expanse of farm and prairie to the north and south. Could not see any other roads except the rare intersection. Now and then there was a car or a truck that had fallen off the road into the snow, stuck. We stopped to get lunch in some forgettable town that had never been plowed -- the restaurant was called Kountry Kitchen and Katering. There was no sign on the outside, no number on the door. We only found it because of Jon's phone telling us that it existed. It felt like deep, solid Trump country with Fox News playing on the TV, the captions listing all the weaknesses and shortcomings of the Democrats. The sandwiches were fine except the lady forgot to put the pickles and lettuce on. It was a busy time of day in there, and three women of undetermined age were doing everything.

We listened to more of Jon's current favorite podcasts (If Books Could Kill) and just at the end of the day we tuned into the class we would have attended at NVHC about democracy and Zionism. It was okay that we couldn't see anything because apparently the images on Zoom were stuck and no one could see the video the rabbi was trying to show (all in Hebrew, five minutes of Hebrew rapping). It was comforting and nice to hear voices of people we know well, asking questions, and to hear our rabbi's rapid fire analysis of super interesting topics. I have always wanted to talk/think about the version of democracy that they have in Israel. So different from here.

Then we got to Charles and Lee Lee's where Lee Lee was completely ready with a delicious dinner. Dena and Jacob and Emily joined us and Lee Lee (in true Lee Lee form) asked the young people to tell us their favorite thing about their job, and their least favorite. It was a fine prompt and we ended up going all around the table with that. It seems that our extended family slides into that pattern of going around the table, answering a question, wherever we are. Or some version of that.

We didn't see any of the kids because Tillie went to a rodeo and Ella lives in her own apartment now but I am sure we will get a glimpse of them before we leave Denver.

Oak Park All Day

I figured out that I really don't have time to try to sit in all the chairs at Paul and Wendy's house when I started to count them all.  There are two full dining tables plus several different rooms with couches and coffee tables or game tables or a big TV.  Including all the seating outside in the garden and the various chairs at desks, there are over 90 different places sit down in this abode. And any of them would be in a space that is comfortable and aesthetically pleasing.  They live in a neighborhood that is full of Frank Lloyd Wright-influenced houses, plus the house that he actually lived in is just down the block. This house pre-dated those houses, built in about 1880 with lots of subsequent additions. The wood floors are unlike any other, really thin pieces of hardwood, nailed from the top. There is enough wood in this house to build a sturdy ship. 

Anyway, it is a lovely place to visit and if you wake up early enough, you can have whole rooms to yourself to sit and read or write and drink a hot yucky. Paul gets up early too, and he is on a pinto bean kick (has a cabinet filled with carefully labeled bottles of dry beans worthy of a Southwestern cooking show) so he made me his current favorite breakfast: bean stew with a poached egg and avocado on top. Not Jon's sort of breakfast, so he didn't feel left out when he got up.

We went to see Linda and Jon at the other end of Oak Park -- they live in a house that is much more like ours in terms of space and furnishings but their house is also influenced by the FLW design features of the area, and much more historic than ours, again with lots of wood trim and hardwood floors. Jon is an artist so the house is full of his paintings. They have three kids who are just about exactly the same age as ours, one boy and two girls, raised amidst a pile of cousins, Jewish, and the son has three children.  So many parallels except no farm -- an artist's life instead. We could talk to them for days. Linda worked on the farm during our Oberlin years and we have known each other ever since. Jon spent seven years of his wandering youth in Israel, serving in the IDF and the Reserves, so he is still connected to lots of friends in Israel. His kibbutz was attacked on October 7. Anyway, we sat around the table having delicious tomato soup and pumpkin bread for hours, sharing stories.

Then it was time to go to our next appointment -- we went to a tea shop to meet up with a high school friend of mine. As I expected, she had a lot of interesting news to share. She has been an aspiring filmmaker all her life, and she recently finished a feature film after going back to grad school at 50 so she could learn how to do that. Now her time is devoted to figuring out how to get this film distributed. You can find it on Amazon. It's called Puppy Love. There is another movie by that name but this one is about her dogs and produced for almost no money. Her next project is not a documentary, it will be a "narrative script" or something like that. It is about a woman who became famous in the early 1900s for a performance she invented that involved lots of swirling silk and long bamboo poles and the first electric lights. She influenced Isadora Duncan and she was good friends with Marie Curie. Her experiment with painting radium on her silk -- against strong advice from Marie -- failed when it burned up. Her name was Loie Fuller. When that film gets made, I will tell everyone.

Back to Paul and Wendy's for dinner. Their house is always populated by various young people, mostly connected to their youngest child, but this time including some students on vacation from college. As it happened, none of their own children were there for dinner but we had a nice time with other people's kids.  Paul has had to learn to pay close attention to using pronouns correctly, as have we all.

Storm, Wendy, Paul

As is so often the case on these trips, we have known each of these friends since before we all had kids, even since before we were married.  We are all in a good place, physically and mentally, and it is so interesting to think about what comes next. Some of us don't have any parents anymore and some of us are retired. All of us have had good lives with plenty of unexpected twists and turns. And we are definitely traveling in a bubble when it comes to political perspectives.

The next morning we got in the car at 8 AM and drove all day long.  It started snowing at about 2:00 and after that it was a lot less relaxing. Before that, we could look out the window and admire the expanse of cornfields, black soil, endless parade of farm buildings. We are still taking the smaller roads and avoiding tolls, so the trip from Chicago to Manhattan, Kansas was longer than it might have been. We got to Paul's house by 7 PM. In the very last miles, we encountered some difficulties with shifting into second gear. This may make the next leg of the trip less predictable. Up until then, we were not thinking about the car at all. It was doing its job without any need of attention.

It is still dark out at 7 AM on Tuesday so I haven't seen the view out of these giant windows yet, but there is a big lake out there and it snowed all night. Or it was supposed to, but I can't see anything yet.

On The Road Again

As we were planning this trip, bit by bit, there was always the possibility that these plans would be thwarted again -- and we were completely ready for that to happen. Last year we plotted out all the routes and the visits and then the trip never materialized. I checked this blog to see how long it has been since we last made it all the way to California by car, and the last time was in 2015. Outrageous. 

But by Friday morning, the day we were supposed to leave, it seemed like it was really time to pack.  Jon was healthy enough to go (despite a persistent cough that has basically been part of our lives since about February, in one form or another) and that was really the determining factor.  The day before, I had picked a few crates of spinach and some arugula and washed it, just in case we might get to give it away along the outbound trip. 

When Jon came home from his treatment at Kaiser (we are timing this vacation to minimize the number of treatments he will skip, with his doctor's blessing), we were basically ready to go. We loaded up the car with vegetables and car snacks and enough clothes to keep us warm but nothing extraneous and we rolled out at 1:00.

On this trip, we don't have too many goals besides seeing people we haven't seen in a really long time and seeing the country through the car windows. We have only one plan to stop and look at something regionally interesting -- this is all about friends and family and not having any other responsibilities. In the olden days when we used to make this trip, we were younger and even more frugal, and we slept in the car between house stops, but those days are gone. Jon has already made all the reservations at the various motels along the way. 

The trip to Columbus was unremarkable, except for the conversations in the car. Even though we have been driving together for most of our lives, we still have some patterns that have not improved much in all that time.  Often when I think Jon is driving too fast or is getting too close to the vehicle in front of us, I tend to let him know. And he never appreciates my comments. It is a surefire way to annoy him and get an angry response. For some reason, after about the tenth unwanted reminder from me, Jon decided to tackle the problem. We talked about it for a long time, learning from each other what we are really thinking and feeling and it actually feels like we might be able to fix this pattern on the outbound part of this trip. If this can really happen, this trip is already a success. In any case, it sets the stage for more conversations that could improve how we do things together.  We have a very good running start, since we have been together for 43 years and there are just a few areas that could use some attention.

We drove non-stop, without really meaning to, and arrived at Jon's uncle's house right on time.  Peter and his friend Doris were waiting for us, ready to go out to dinner or stay in, whichever.  We went to a Pan-Asian restaurant a few blocks away and had a lovely meal, talking non-stop of course. We saw them at the Groisser reunion last summer, so there was less catching up to do. And for sure, whenever we see Peter, the conversations are substantive and interesting because that is who he is. We got to learn more about Doris, finally, since we could ask all the questions we wanted to and we could really pay attention.  She grew up on a farm in Ohio and learned all the skills of a homesteader, was the first of her family to continue her education past high school, trained as a nurse, had a family, went back to get a college degree when her kids were young and then decided she had better not stop because when would she ever go back.  She got her doctorate when her kids were still not yet grown and went on to teach and then work as a university administrator -- all these things we never knew. Plus she is a really nice person, even though she says she is more decrepit than she expected to be at this point in her life.

The next day we had a nice breakfast and more conversation with Peter and then we headed for Cleveland, driving through light snow.  It is hard to balance all the various priorities that Jon has established: maximizing fuel efficiency, no tolls, getting to our destinations on time. 

We met Rob and Joanie in Shaker Heights at a snazzy downtown food court. We decided it was too noisy, despite its other charms, and we retreated to a quieter lunch place.  For three quick hours we caught up on the status of our kids, our health, Israel, our work.  These are two of the sharpest, most balanced people we know, and it is always good to check in and compare our world views.  Jon asked the question, "what does it mean to be a Zionist these days?" We could have talked for many more hours. Rob always has a way of formulating his answers by setting aside the particulars of the current moment and trying to look through a lens from a much higher plane -- for example, the particulars of the Israeli government right now are not what concern him. This is an existential issue. He is more interested in an empathetic and humane response to what all the people are experiencing, and he has no way to judge how the war is going. That's not his department, as a rabbi.

Then we headed west for another six hours or so. Since we were staying off the toll roads, we were mostly on small highways, going through small towns. In the daytime, this is fine. In the nighttime, it is sub-optimal. And when you get to Elkhart, Indiana and there are  Amish buggies moving along in the dark -- well-lit but moving at a horse's pace -- this really makes you question the route choice.  We did get the average fuel consumption up to 46.2 mpg by the time we arrived in Oak Park.

Paul had to get back out of bed to let us in and then he stayed up while he and Jon talked about the relative merits of the gas stove and the induction burner option.  Two nerd cooks with a lot of opinions. Finally we all retreated to our beds. This house is still the most amazing house of all the houses we know. Maybe I will describe it later.

Our Last Day in Israel

We had one last day to play with. I wanted to do something different enough that we would remember the day. We packed up, had showers, and went to borrow the car. Both Benjamin and Yael were out (Benj had taken his electric bike to the Technion and Yael was rehearsing for an upcoming performance) and Mika was at the zoo with her nanny.  It was a sort of a rainy day, but the rain stopped and started. Mika's nanny was brave to take such a long stroller trip in the rain.

Jon navigated and we went to Akko. When we got there we needed a nap already, so we parked in a lot outside the Old City and slept while it rained. When it seemed like it was raining less, we started to walk along the sea promenade, but then it was raining too much and we turned around. Drove slowly along the road that took us to the back of the Old City but I wasn't that curious (we had been there before and I just wanted an outing, not to get wet) so we kept on going, driving slowly through the regular parts of the town. Got stuck in a traffic jam where there was a school letting out at 1:00, lots of kids in matching purple and black shirts/pants/skirts. Lots of honking horns, for no good reason (Jon says I should stop reacting to the Israeli custom of honking the horn at every possible opportunity).

We found a supermarket parking lot and parked there because that feels safe to me -- I don't understand what the signs say about parking in the towns, I don't understand the stripes on the curbs, and I don't want to deal with police and tickets. We went shopping in this huge store with nothing at all in English, but we understand food shopping. Got some lunch items, some candy for presents, some sweet drinks because Benjamin and Yael don't consume anything fun and sweet. We were like kids in a candy shop, getting gauva/passion fruit juice.

We had a picnic in a park, all by ourselves, because it was sort of a rainy day. No children in sight. The best thing we bought was a delicious beet salad. I saved some for Mika (and she loved it later).

Back at Chez Mika, we hung out with Benjamin and Mika some, then went to have a farewell chat with our Airbnb hosts.  We learned that they have been planning to take down their house (built in the 1930s) and build an 8-story building there in its place. That is ambitious for a retired, globetrotting couple. Benj says this is happening all over Haifa. Our hosts said their neighbors have been objecting to this plan for 7 years but now they have their approvals.  Ugh, I cannot imagine the chaos of having to move out of the house, build an apartment building and move back in again. I told him this was his big chance to make a cohousing community. He said others have suggested something similar. He would be crazy not to, in my view.

Benjamin and Mika drove us to the train station and we were on our own. This time there was no English translation of the announcements about anything, but we muddled through. Got on the right train, got off at the airport, stood in a million lines, showed our passport on seven different occasions, the plane was full again, and we were headed home.

Thirteen hours later, the pilot bounced the plane down through a turbulent landing and we were back in Virginia. We have got to do the work to get Global Entry. It took us almost two hours to get out of the airport. 

So nice to be home. Alissa is getting better. My knee surgery is postponed again while we wait for a two week window of no illness.  My version of Jon's cold was much milder but we need it to be a distant memory before the anesthesia team will allow the surgery to happen. It's all fine.

Up and Out

We only have two days to get Jon to a place where he can get up and walk, pull a suitcase, sit on a plane, so he had to put up with some more nudging and cajoling from the person he is stuck with. Five days in bed can turn a person into a wet noodle. The expression on his face when I tell him he has to do this or that is so reminiscent of his father that it makes me laugh -- when Leon was in his later years and he didn't want to do something he would make that face (eyebrows down on the outside, up in the middle, twisted mouth, kind of humorous and pitiful and leave-me-alone all at the same time).  Too bad for Jon, I can tell that his cough is getting less painful and he is sleeping better. Time to get up.

So we slowly made our way to Benjamin's and watched Mika playing with her nanny (it was a very rainy day, so no trip to the park).  Eventually I suggested we go food shopping since there wasn't much food in either house.  We got instructions from Benjamin -- a little vague but we had some understanding of where we would have to make a U-turn and look for the garage entrance -- and we took Yael's car for our first adventure.  Jon navigated, I drove. It was about a half mile drive, but there are roundabouts and lots of traffic and it was raining and we didn't have precise directions. We found the garage under the mall, parked, took the elevator to a random floor (even though we pushed a button for the Zero floor, it opened up at -1) and found ourself at a supermarket.  Nothing in English but we know how to shop.  Found everything on Benjamin's list, checked out, even figured out how to get our parking ticket validated, and went home triumphant.

Jon rested on the nice couch for a bit and then he and Benjamin went out to the hardware store for adventure #2. Meanwhile back on the East Coast, the CSA was opening up at 7:30 in the morning and I was following the story with Becky, texting. Things started slowly, making both of us nervous that Mailchimp was not working, but gradually the registrations started to come in.

The rest of our day was largely focused on dealing with CSA issues -- when we planned this trip, we knew we wanted to be sitting with our computers on February 1 and not on an airplane, so that is part of the reason we stayed this long. It is best to be available when the CSA opens because questions come pouring in, and this system was unfamiliar to all of us. Becky and Jon and I worked into the night.Things went remarkably well, and we learned a lot along the way, as expected. 

We took a break to go to dinner at Gadi and Hedy's house -- Yael engineered this plan when it seemed like Jon might be able to make an appearance. It would have been really too bad for Jon to see them for only ten minutes out of ten days.  Yael ordered food from a Pan Asian sort of restaurant (sushi, soup, noodles, all delicious) and we went to visit the grandparents while we waited for delivery.  It was a late night for Mika and she heroically tried to stay in good form but there were a few inevitable meltdowns. She gave gracious kisses and hugs on the way out. It was very nice to have another chance to get to know Yael's parents. It is too bad Israel is so far away from Virginia.