On The Road Again

As we were planning this trip, bit by bit, there was always the possibility that these plans would be thwarted again -- and we were completely ready for that to happen. Last year we plotted out all the routes and the visits and then the trip never materialized. I checked this blog to see how long it has been since we last made it all the way to California by car, and the last time was in 2015. Outrageous. 

But by Friday morning, the day we were supposed to leave, it seemed like it was really time to pack.  Jon was healthy enough to go (despite a persistent cough that has basically been part of our lives since about February, in one form or another) and that was really the determining factor.  The day before, I had picked a few crates of spinach and some arugula and washed it, just in case we might get to give it away along the outbound trip. 

When Jon came home from his treatment at Kaiser (we are timing this vacation to minimize the number of treatments he will skip, with his doctor's blessing), we were basically ready to go. We loaded up the car with vegetables and car snacks and enough clothes to keep us warm but nothing extraneous and we rolled out at 1:00.

On this trip, we don't have too many goals besides seeing people we haven't seen in a really long time and seeing the country through the car windows. We have only one plan to stop and look at something regionally interesting -- this is all about friends and family and not having any other responsibilities. In the olden days when we used to make this trip, we were younger and even more frugal, and we slept in the car between house stops, but those days are gone. Jon has already made all the reservations at the various motels along the way. 

The trip to Columbus was unremarkable, except for the conversations in the car. Even though we have been driving together for most of our lives, we still have some patterns that have not improved much in all that time.  Often when I think Jon is driving too fast or is getting too close to the vehicle in front of us, I tend to let him know. And he never appreciates my comments. It is a surefire way to annoy him and get an angry response. For some reason, after about the tenth unwanted reminder from me, Jon decided to tackle the problem. We talked about it for a long time, learning from each other what we are really thinking and feeling and it actually feels like we might be able to fix this pattern on the outbound part of this trip. If this can really happen, this trip is already a success. In any case, it sets the stage for more conversations that could improve how we do things together.  We have a very good running start, since we have been together for 43 years and there are just a few areas that could use some attention.

We drove non-stop, without really meaning to, and arrived at Jon's uncle's house right on time.  Peter and his friend Doris were waiting for us, ready to go out to dinner or stay in, whichever.  We went to a Pan-Asian restaurant a few blocks away and had a lovely meal, talking non-stop of course. We saw them at the Groisser reunion last summer, so there was less catching up to do. And for sure, whenever we see Peter, the conversations are substantive and interesting because that is who he is. We got to learn more about Doris, finally, since we could ask all the questions we wanted to and we could really pay attention.  She grew up on a farm in Ohio and learned all the skills of a homesteader, was the first of her family to continue her education past high school, trained as a nurse, had a family, went back to get a college degree when her kids were young and then decided she had better not stop because when would she ever go back.  She got her doctorate when her kids were still not yet grown and went on to teach and then work as a university administrator -- all these things we never knew. Plus she is a really nice person, even though she says she is more decrepit than she expected to be at this point in her life.

The next day we had a nice breakfast and more conversation with Peter and then we headed for Cleveland, driving through light snow.  It is hard to balance all the various priorities that Jon has established: maximizing fuel efficiency, no tolls, getting to our destinations on time. 

We met Rob and Joanie in Shaker Heights at a snazzy downtown food court. We decided it was too noisy, despite its other charms, and we retreated to a quieter lunch place.  For three quick hours we caught up on the status of our kids, our health, Israel, our work.  These are two of the sharpest, most balanced people we know, and it is always good to check in and compare our world views.  Jon asked the question, "what does it mean to be a Zionist these days?" We could have talked for many more hours. Rob always has a way of formulating his answers by setting aside the particulars of the current moment and trying to look through a lens from a much higher plane -- for example, the particulars of the Israeli government right now are not what concern him. This is an existential issue. He is more interested in an empathetic and humane response to what all the people are experiencing, and he has no way to judge how the war is going. That's not his department, as a rabbi.

Then we headed west for another six hours or so. Since we were staying off the toll roads, we were mostly on small highways, going through small towns. In the daytime, this is fine. In the nighttime, it is sub-optimal. And when you get to Elkhart, Indiana and there are  Amish buggies moving along in the dark -- well-lit but moving at a horse's pace -- this really makes you question the route choice.  We did get the average fuel consumption up to 46.2 mpg by the time we arrived in Oak Park.

Paul had to get back out of bed to let us in and then he stayed up while he and Jon talked about the relative merits of the gas stove and the induction burner option.  Two nerd cooks with a lot of opinions. Finally we all retreated to our beds. This house is still the most amazing house of all the houses we know. Maybe I will describe it later.